Grief Support

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My grandmother passed away recently. I need a way to not be sad yet always have her with me. I don’t want to have to think about her passing away. Can you write back to me about this?

In our home, Mother had a plaque on the wall that simply said, “Time heals all wounds.” And it does. It’s likely that you can see the same about your feelings now about your grandmother passing away several months ago.

There is no quick, easy answer about how to overcome the pain of separation from a loved one. But, before long, the pain does get less. Often it goes completely away.

Life offers all of us an unending chain of joy and sorrow. Know that everything is in its rightful place, that a door opens for every one that is shut. Love who you are, what you do, and those who are dear to you. Don’t ever take your family for granted.

I wish I had some great wisdom to give you. The closest anyone can come is to say, “You exist because God loves you.” There is wonder and beauty in that.

—Sri Harold Klemp

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I am sixty-seven years old, not in the best of health, and I am very depressed. Five months ago, I lost my husband after forty-six years of marriage. We had eight children and a very full life together.

I am so lost and just can’t seem to function. I am a Catholic and always have been strong in my faith in God, but I do not know how to cope anymore. My daughter is an ECKist and feels you can be of some help for me.

Thank you for your letter. No one else can fully understand the loss of a husband of forty-six years, but my love and concern are with you in your present state of unhappiness.

If your health allows, try to help other people in some way as a volunteer. You must do that to fill the awful loneliness inside you. Have young children you like near you. Some children can be a trial to be around, so be with a loving, giving child (as a babysitter, perhaps).

Sometimes it just helps to listen to others who need a friendly ear. Is there some sort of volunteer work you can do for your church? You need to help others again even as you were there for your husband.

I feel so helpless in the face of your grief and loss, because there is no easy way to ever replace someone who’s become so dear to us as life itself. But if you can find a way to help others, at least a little of your sorrow will lift and the love of God will find you.

—Sri Harold Klemp